The Anti-Green

Since "green"-ness in every sense is sickeningly being rammed down our throats at every juncture, it seems to be the dominating catchword in today's automotive landscape, along with "bailout" and "bankrupt". In a conscious effort to never relinquish our grasp on automotive art, racing, and the pure enjoyment of driving, we continue to buck the trend and write about cars that are truly amazing and lustworthy, rather than boring and (apparently) headline-worthy.

A prominent segment of the automotive landscape that has come under fire recently is the full-size executive sedan. Clearly critics have not driven a new 2010 BMW 760Li, in all its twin-turbo V12-ness. Now this is more like it! Too long has AMG made a mockery of the 7-series . . . not today. Today, the 760Li presents a truly amazing package, and the driving dynamics to back up the power under the hood -- all 535hp of it.

BMW has finally employed forced induction on their top-trump V12, and it's a thing of smooth beauty, like those slinky figures carved into liquor glasses. Boost lag? You must be joking. Power is liquid, and instantaneous without jerking. Chassis balance and composure will eat up any other full-size car on the road, no question at all. So, not only can it run neck-and-neck with an M3 on the straights, it will keep up on the twisties as well. With carefully tuning (including a bit more airflow), this car could see 600 horses without losing any of the ride quality.

This surprisingly-goodlooking flagship also delivers the goods as never before inside -- smacking even Mercedes around with passenger coddling. That rear cabin is just a really nice place to be, on the order of Bentley, which is near hollowed ground. With recent Benz build quality issues, the tides are turning with respect to the ultimate in luxury transportation. Perhaps until the new A8 appears, this battle belongs to BMW.

Back Streets Option

BMWs have a reputation for excellent handling as a rule, and usually even their 7-series battleships followed suit -- considering weight penalties, of course. In fact, the Back Streets Option today involves a bit of a project, albeit a very rewarding one to follow through with. First, though, you need yourself a 1986-87 BMW 735i L7. A clean example can be had for under 5 large, if you search carefully.


The next item of purchase is the M88 straight-six engine and manual transmission from an M5 or M6 of the era. What we're ultimately in pursuit of is the European-only 745i model, which was a very exclusive, high-performance version built only in Europe and South Africa. While the European 745i came with a turbocharged motor, which is a more difficult concept to reproduce here, the South African model ran the M88 engine.


Where even our L7 designation falls short is the 745i's staggering list of options -- staggering for the mid-80s, for sure. While the L7 offered full leather upholstery and a glass sunroof, the 745i could be ordered up with such rarities as heated front and rear power reclining seats, auto-on aux interior gasoline-fired heaters, leather covered telephones, rear-armrest radio control, and more.


Much like the early Acura Legends were much more loaded as Honda Legends in Japan, so the BMW 7-series kept all of its party pieces in Europe. The thrill of the hunt is attempting to find or replicate these options on your L7, complete with correct fascia and badging. Combined with the M88 engine swap and various other suspension upgrades, this could truly become the performance/luxury bargain of the time. Truly a worthy predecessor to today's 760Li.

DTM In Your Driveway

There has been a lot of positive buzz surrounding the new Mercedes C-Class, especially the C63 AMG model. The formula is simple: take a compact sedan, drop in a thundering V8, adjust other parts to accomodate, and you're off faster than your kids in the back can scream for mercy. Practicality can be fun too!

Edo Competition seem to agree, although they appear to think that 450 German horses are not enough. They would prefer to have another 100. And so -- the Edo C63 is born. What is truly astonishing here is the fact that with nothing more than a little ECU tuning, intake filter, headers, and high-flow catalytic converters, they have bumped output by 100 horsepower on what is already a built-to-the-max specialty engine. If you know of another naturally aspirated powerplant that can be so easily tweaked, do please let us know. We're having a hard enough time getting an extra 40 (reliable) horsepower from Honda V6 engines, using every N/A trick we know.

Hot on their heels is Kicherer, another prominent Benz booster. They also get very close to the millenium mark in the Power Increase department, along with their interior enhancements and unique wheels. They also includes some exterior carbon bits, including grille, front bumper with LED lighting, and mirror covers. Both tuners dump the now-useless top speed limiter, giving their C63s a new max on the high side of 190mph.

Both Brabus and EvoSport (who extracted an astounding 567hp!) have created their own versions as well, putting so much effort into their modifications that technically they could be considered the C63 AMG Black Series that never was. So if you are needing a family sedan (albeit a small one) and have speed-demon tendencies, look no further than a C63. Well, look a little further . . . at these aftermarket offerings.

Back Streets Option

In all actuality, Mercedes has been involved in DTM racing for quite some time. Back in the 1980s, with the introduction of the W201 Mercedes 190E, specialty tuner AMG (not yet owned by 'Benz) took several and went racing in various championships against their main rival, the E30 BMW M3. In order to qualify, however, AMG had to make a road-going version also. Hence, the 190E 2.3-16V.

As the M3 evolved and added power, Mercedes realized they did too, so they bumped displacement to 2.5 Liters and eventually ended up with over 232hp in the Evolution II model. The engines were designed by Cosworth Engineering, and had a remarkably flat torque curve, making them very flexible within gears.

The body kits fitted to the 16V models enhanced aerodynamics, making these cars very agile and composed on a race course. All versions included a limited-slip differential and a quartet of grippy Recaro seats. One thing of note is the unusual dogleg-pattern shifter -- first gear is down and to the left.

Here in the US, we are naturally stuck with only the 2.3-16V, rated at an extra-low 167hp. What you'll want to do is find yourself a decent example, and then build your own Evolution II. The bodywork is very hard to come by, but the engine tuning is fairly easy -- there are a few places to get yourself a 2.5-Liter stroker kit, for example, and some hotter cams. A few select European parts later, and you have your own street-legal DTM car for very little. Expect to pay close to $9K or $10K for a clean car to start with.

Screaming Banshee -- In Orange

In keeping with our recent trend of covering amazing new cars that have been around for a few months already, we would be remiss if we never mentioned the Lamborghini Murcielago LP-670 SV. Just uttering the words is like cursing the devil -- you are still not quite sure if minions from the blackness won't appear suddenly and drag you back from whence they came out of spite.

There has never been a Lamborghini quite like this one. Despite the Miura SV, Diablo SV, and even a truck in its colorful history, nothing can quite compare to the 670. Nothing is quite as . . . orange. Its presence, should you dare to remain standing while near the beast, is almost overwhelming.
Everything, from the gaping cavernous maw at the front that scoops air the way a baleen whale filters tons of gallons of ocean water, to the enormous rear wing coiled up behind its massive crouching haunches . . . everything screams kinetic energy, waiting to be released. However, it's the way it is released that will blow your skirt up.

Lamborghini added both power and lightweight parts to make this Murcielago 40 horsepower up and 220 pounds down from the "normal" car. Numerous vents and intakes -- most painted flat black -- add high speed stability, while Alcantara and carbon fiber line the interior. In a word, it has all been evilized. There is no other explanation for a 0-60 time of 3.2 seconds and a top speed of 212 mph.

Naturally, this kind of lunacy comes with a lunatic cost -- and while all the arrow-shaped Reventon-inspired cues are hypnotic, this kind of money is not found easily. Side note: Lamborghini just released photos of a Reventon roadster, just in case you found that yours is just too commonplace.
We needed our own version, and admittedly we hunted for a suitable subject for quite some time. Starting with our own infamous Save Yourselves post, we branched out into every possible scenario, tossing around legends such as the C4 Corvette ZR1 and the DeTomaso Pantera. How do you combine a wicked presence with a track-oriented setup and time-traveling engine? Then, without warning, it struck us!

Back Streets Option

We confess that, for the moment, what struck us is that we are stumped. For the first time, we are unable to think up a reasonably-price alternative to the big fire-breathing Italian V12. Can you? If you are able to find a Back Streets Option, we will publish the result in this blog! Please send us your ideas at zfclubsport@yahoo.com.
The criteria must follow with the 670 SV, which means exotic looks, screaming engine, purely aggressive nature, and a price under $30K-$50K. Thank you for your support, and we promise to not be stumped again until the next article.

Road Monsters

Hard to believe it's been almost 20 years since the SUV craze first started jam-packing garages and parking spaces with hulking metal. When Ford launched the Explorer in 1990, the widespread appeal became obvious, and so family haulers of all descriptions ensued.

Today, for the ultimate in the SUV world, we look once again at Mercedes, with their GL450. It must be said that many SUVs, or what are left of them, are crap. Expeditions and Tahoes have made us nauseous, frankly, with their incessant presence on the road and intolerable build quality and ride comfort. Can we not design something that isn't half-pickup and has a stylish, well-constructed constitution?

Enter the GL450. Now, most would think first of the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S or the new BMW X5M, for example, when prompted to name the ultimate SUVs walking the earth today. However, those two models only seat five. We want seven. We are increasingly hard to please, like a spoiled heiress. So -- how to get seven seats and still have the firepower to run with a proper supercar?

We have to get creative here, which is part of the joy of our job and the aftermarket community in general. Mercedes AMG has never created a GL63. The ML63 is only a five-seater, remember. We want a GL63! Better yet, even a GL65. And why not? Gemballa makes a 750hp Cayenne. BMW created a V12 X5 concept once. No reason the running gear from an S/SL/C65 shouldn't drop into a monster like the GL450.

GLs have a very good interior and exterior to start with. Antilock braking, traction/antiskid control, hill ascent and descent control, and a height-adjustable suspension are standard, plus navigation, DVD entertainment, and a host of other usual Mercedes niceties. There, your offroad and luxury is covered in one attractive package. The GL550 added a few things to the 450, so if you've got the extra cash to pony up, more power to you -- but if you're doing that much engine modification it's hardly worth it.

On the road, the GL lineup actually has very good steering feel and quite level cornering, impressive for a beast this size. Of course, with suspension tuning much more of these characteristics can be emphasized without sacrificing much ride quality, but wind noise at speed is nonexistent. Inside, the color scheme can resemble a batcave, like a lot of Mercedes, so you'll probably want to liven it up a bit with some brushed aluminum or lighter-colored premium hides.

We found clean examples for less than $35K, which made us want to go through with every suggestion mentioned above. Perhaps down the road we will.

Back Streets Option

Say you don't have much cash, but still need the room of an SUV. Assuming you haven't subscribed to the government scam that is Cash4Clunkers, what you want is a 2003 Honda Pilot. Now stay with us here. Think of the Accord of the midsized SUVs, and lately Accords have become fairly impressive. Perhaps more crucially, this is an eight-seater, albeit the back row is strictly kid-sized.

Honda put some thought and effort into the Pilot. Build quality is excellent, the interior is well-designed, the ride is smooth and composed, and it even looks good on the outside. With its muscular V6, it outguns most rivals, even those with a V8. Expect to pay under $10K for a 2003 EX-L model, and frankly that's a bargain. Naturally, however, we can't leave well enough alone.

Giving the Pilot a bit of shove requires some engine work. One option would be to swap in the larger 3.7L engine that was released last year, in addition to an intake and exhaust. Our choice would probably be forced induction at this point. Some attractive, aggressive 20" wheels would add a lot here, and some interior trim to liven up things. Aluminum pedals, for example, would give it that "Type-S" feel without getting tacky.

So there you have it -- an inexpensive, well-made alternative to transport you and yours in comfort, style, and speed upon these urban highways. Now, grab the youngsters, fire up the navigation, and head for the horizon.

Bellissimo! New Ferrari 458 Italia Redefines Stunning

To those of you who are of the opinion that Ferrari's design school has been asleep since the 355 -- sit up and take note! The all-new 458 Italia is a head-turning work of art.

Replacing the current F430 as the small, mid-engined sports car, the 458 brings a power increase (570hp from a 4.5L V8), seductive swooping curves, and technology advances in droves. LEDs in the headlights give it that faint Audi R8 feel at the front, brakes the size of beachballs lurk under the massive-yet-stylish wheels, and spaceship touches adorn the interior. That triple exhaust certainly looks like it could blast you to infinity.

The new ergonomic approach to the driving experience is quite the evolution. All primary controls are now grouped around the steering wheel, which is in keeping with the Ferrari racing pedigree. But, more than that, all steering column control stalks have been eliminated and their functions moved to buttons or knobs arrayed at your fingertips. The paddles with which to grab gears are longer, and the various dials and indicators are now combined into multifunction satellite pods.

So if you've just purchased an F430, don't fret too much: you're still driving one of the finest pieces of machinery on the planet. However, in a few months when a 458 Italia pulls up next to you, it will tear at your heartstrings and remind you that what you're sitting in is now second-best.